Well, I must say it’s a hard thing, writing when it’s five minutes past nap time. My Sunset Cherry Doggie Condo is beckoning relentlessly from the corner, and every inch of that creamy white carpet between my and my condo calls out: Flop, Fiona. Just flop. Let it all go. Become one with the plush.

But I’m going to resist, for now. Because I wanted to remark on an article I came across today, involving dyed and painted poodles.

There’s some very sad stories about poodles out there, which I don’t really want to talk about right now. But this story, despite all appearances, is not. This one involves a female human who discovered that if you shave a Standard poodle a certain way, and add red food coloring to the body and head while leaving the feet and ears a silky white, and strap on a leather belt, you have a Standard poodle that looks exactly like … Santa Claws. (It’s worth noting that dying your dog was recently made illegal in certain parts of Italy.)

The human hastened to assure readers that only very safe dye was used, and that it would wash off in the rain, and what’s more, that the poodle in question was very confident and not at all embarrassed by her get-up.

The article also displays (but doesn’t discuss) an Easter-yellow Bichon Frise, also dyed safely for the benefit of a charity.

Now, as we know, poodles have served humans in the most loyal and fiercest of ways for many years: retrieving ducks, hunting truffles, biting the ankles of intruders, and so on. But it is rare that we have combined our enormous natural beauty with the attention-getting tactics of dye and special “clips” for the purpose of charity.

I think this powerful use of the poodle’s graces is under-utilized. I personally, would not mind being a catalyst for the flowing of funds toward charities dear to my heart, such as PETA, or EarthFirst!

Of course, I wouldn’t mind if some brother or sister poodle preceded me in this. Because I’m really very awfully sleepy.

- FIONA